Reading
I scrolled down through my Twitter just now and saw this tweet that was retweeted by my friend. It was from a twitter called @AlbanianAkh. I cant thank you enough, for putting my (and others) feelings into words. May Allah bless you.
"Imagine your mother was on the silver bed that they wash dead bodies upon. You make wudhu upon her and then start to wash her hair. You run your hand through her greyed hair. You remember the times she would ask you if she looked nice in what she was wearing. You remember how sweet she was and how beautiful she was in her youth. You realize this will be the last time you touch your mother in this dunya. You lift her let side over and it strikes you that she can no longer wash her own self although she was the one who used to wash you and clothe you and feed you and stay up at night by your side worried about you; a young boy/girl or grown up man/woman she treated you the same. Her beloved son/daughter who she would give up her world for. You take a look at her face and wish she would smile at you one last time. You realize the small things you took for granted. You remember the jokes that you used to make her laugh and the things you said to please her. You begin to shroud her body and its time to cover her face. You ask for one last chance to look at her beauty and kiss her upon her forehead. You shroud her and will never see her face again in this life. Upon your shoulder she is carried just as upon hers she used to carry you. No more playing, laughing, giggling, joking... Pain and crying as you carry the most important woman in your life, out of your life. You burry her and as you walk away, you begin to remember the things you did that hurt her. Those words you said that she would overlook but you know brought her pain. You think about the times you chose your friends over her, your husband/wife over her, a program you preferred to watch over her. You begin to realize that you were a son/daughter that she deserved more from. You wish for one moment that you can hug her and tell her how sorry you are and tell her how much you appreciate her.
Ya Allah, may we all earn our mother's duas and find her in Jannah."
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I cant stress enough how true and accurate this tweets are because this is exactly what and how I felt on the day she left me and I've been feeling the same thing ever since that. The day when I said "Lily sayang mak sangat sangat" and cried like a little girl in front of everyone. The guilt of something that you did to her will come to you and you'll cry your eyes out until you cant breathe. The feeling of longing to see and touch your mother's face. The urge to hug her, talk to her, and even eat with her. I've accidentally found an old video of me "interviewing" my mom about random thing in 2012. I straightaway cried when I saw the video. I've been dying to hear your voice, too see your smile and when I heard your voice and saw your smile again, it made me feel very very happy.
I've been listening to your favorite songs lately. The one from The Beatles and The Carpenters and some from Westlife. I've also been wearing your favorite telekung and now I finally understand why you love it so much haha.
I don't know how to end this post properly but thank you so much for reading. If you're reading this and you haven't called your parents for a long time, I think its about time for you to call them now. Or you can run to them and hug them tightly. Tell them what they deserve to hear from you. May God bless.
