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i dedicate this post to the ones who have always been there for me. i'm sorry i can't afford to tell you this in person. if you know me well, you'd know that i express myself better through words.

i thank god everyday for your presence in my life, and i am really glad that our paths crossed. though i only know some of you more or less than a year, but that doesn't really matter for me. no matter how long we have known each other, i would still appreciate you.

i won't say who these people are because you know who you are to me. the reason why i'm doing this is because i think you deserve to know how special each and everyone of you to me.


i don't know if you have a superpower or something, but each and everyone of you came to me at the right time. though i know i have to thank Him for sending you to help me go through this. i have to admit that i have pushed you away, at some point. but you came back to me even when i treated you horribly. now that i think about it, do i really deserve someone like you? cause honestly i don't. and here, i want to apologise for not being there for you whenever you need someone to help. sometimes i really feel like i'm useless and i don't think i'm treating you the same way as you're treating me. i'm sorry but i'm still working on that.

to these people whom i always choose to be with,

i want you to know that i would never trade you for anything or anyone. you know you are special to me if i asked you to go to a park or a night drives to see all the pretty lights or views; those places where i usually have my breakdowns at. congrats, you have made to the highest stage because it surely is not easy for me to do this to someone. 

i know that you have seen the good and bad sides of me and i want to thank you for staying with me, no matter what my condition is. thank you for entertaining me and laugh to my most stupid and lame jokes. thank you for being there for me when i cried unexpectedly. i know that it must have been hard for you, so again, thank you.

thank you so much for being patient whenever you're with me. i know my mood can change drastically and i'm truly sorry for not being able to control my emotions most of the time. thank you for understanding the silence; to think that it is okay to stay silent in car rides and appreciate the music/ride. also thank you for following me no matter where i go, though i don't really know where to go most of the time. its just that i want to be with you, that is all. also, thank you for always believe in me and hold my hand when i'm trying to pick myself up again.

maybe to you, i am not that important as how you are to me. i'm not forcing or expecting you to feel he same way to me too. but honestly, i can't imagine how my life would be without you. believe me, i've tried so many times and so many ways to avoid you because i don't want to get attached. why? because attachment sucks and i don't want to be dependent on you. though i do know that you have your own life too, and i respect that. i can't be selfish all the time right?

honestly, every time we go to a park/drive up on a hill, i really wish i could stop the time, so that i can be with you a little bit longer. god knows how blessed i am when the lights reflected on you face. and fyi, each and every one of you has your own song that will automatically reminds me of you. those songs can be the one that we played and listened in our car rides, the one that we sang at the karaoke, the one that we listened when we were eating in the mall; it can be very random but i remember it vividly. so every time i listen to those songs, it will remind me how blessed i am to have you. i pray that god will always bless you and bring happiness to you, because you're definitely a blessing to me.



for some reason, i know that this will bring so much pain to me. the pain of longing and missing someone like you, i'm surely gonna miss you once i leave. thats for sure.

deep down, i am actually scared of what the future holds. things might change, right? though i might be able to imagine all the possibilities of bad things that could happen in the future, i refuse to think about it. if things are really going to be different, at least you were part of my good, precious memories.

though i said i express myself better through words, i may not be able to fully express myself here. let god be the only one who knows how blessed i am to have you in my life. i really hope this friendship lasts forever; through thick and thin. like i said, each and everyone of you were there for me when i was at my lowest and you were also there when i was happy and content. i truly appreciate all the things that you have done to me, i really do. 



i may never say this to you in person, but i want you to know that i love you, not for the things that you have done to me; but for being who you truly are when you're with me. you have a really beautiful soul, and you are important to me, remember that. and i want to keep you forever. heres to more countless night drives and park adventures. 

and lastly, do know that we are in this journey, together. thank you for being you. 

may god bless.