Reading
for the longest time, i asked myself "is it all my fault?"
trust me i've asked myself this question countless times. and maybe you once did too. some days i told myself that it's not; because life just, happens? and on other days i'd beat myself up because i convinced myself that it is my own fault.
i rarely ask people this question, because i know they'd say it's not. idk, sometimes i just feel that people lies and they're saying that for the sake of it.
imagine being in this situation where you have been asking yourself the same exact question everyday, and you've tried so hard to not believe in everything that your mind says. and you've tried your best to believe in other people, who may truly see you as a completely different person than who you think you are. and you actually believed that. so you're like, happy and relieved cause at least you have something to hold on. but imagine, someone told you that it is your fault. and that someone happens to be the person that you look up to in your whole entire life.
you'll feel like your whole life has been a lie. all this while, when you thought you're innocent and you're able to have hope again, -only to know that it doesn't last long and fake.
man, this surely hurts a lot.