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hello there,
with the current situation right now, i hope you are doing alright and staying safe at home. sending hugs and love to those who can't be with their family, or those who are having a hard time coping ♡
this mco period has been tough for me, personally. been busy with work and study that i dont even have time for myself. i get a mini panic-attack every morning, knowing how much work i have to do on that day. it can be good at times, but i feel like i'm slowly reaching my limit. i feel like exploding. but don't worry, i'm trying my best to take one step at a time.
on a random note, i've had this thought for quite some time now. but honestly i dont know how to put it in words. cause maybe to some, none of it would make sense. oh well, what's new with me huh.
in the midst of busyness, i realised that i no longer have the time to socialise or to catch up with those who are important to me. sure, there are still simple and short replies on instagram stories here and there. but it's hard to have a solid conversation. i understand that we are all busy with stuff, and in fact im glad to know my friends doing so well in life. some are working and some are pursuing their studies. i feel like now it's clear and i can see that everyone has their own path. and that, hit me — are we growing up too fast?
despite i'm happy to see them in the virtual world through their uploads etc, i'm also wondering if they're okay. like i said, in those short replies we always say "i hope you're doing fine!" and being a kind person who doesn't like to worry other people, we would reply with "i'm okay!" at the very least. and it honestly sucks. because i miss the long conversation that we used to have, i miss hearing every details of their stories; to know how they are actually doing, physically, mentally and emotionally.
because deep, deep down, that's what i'm feeling. i miss talking to the ones i love and care for. with everything that's been happening, it's building up inside and i feel like i can't find any outlet to let this out. i wouldn't want to be that kind of people who only talks to their friends for their benefit and leave them again afterwards.
i know very well that some might say "that's adulting. it's normal. you'll get used to it" and stuff. but i just can't ignore all of these feelings and force myself to snap out of it. i also know i have issues with moving on; always have and always will. i just don't know how to pick myself up and move forward easily. but please know that i'm trying
till then, take care x
